So, I was going to do this prior to the UNC-Dook football game, but with my GMAT and everything I never got a chance. So I'll do it now, in the immediate wake of the recruitment of Harrison Barnes (more on that in a minute).

Over the years, there have been a lot of words said and blood shed over the UNC-Dook rivalry, and rightfully so; there is no greater rivalry in college sports for one simple, inescapable fact - UNC and Dook are polar opposites separated by an 8-mile stretch of 4-lane state highway. Ohio State-Michigan, Oklahoma-Texas, Florida-Georgia, Alabama-Auburn...all great rivalries, none of them have that in common with the hatred reserved for next-door neighbors.

Little known fact about me: I actually applied early decision to Dook. I was set on going to Dook for their stellar academic reputation and what a Dook degree could afford me after graduation. However, after choosing UNC to go to school, I can honestly say I made the best decision. Within two weeks of being at Carolina, I realized that I had been a Tar Heel all along...I just needed to realize it for myself.

And it starts with hating Dook. For me, hating Dook is like inhaling, and beating Dook is like exhaling: both are necessary for me to continue to live on this earth. In this Heel's opinion, Dook represents all that is wrong with the world: arrogance, snobbery, entitlement, and the resulting complacency, indifference, and perceived superiority. Dook fans are insufferable, vindictive, fair-weathered, often times ill-informed, and generally incredulous when anyone presents them with a thought different from "Dook is the best." Ever wonder why in this blog, I will never tag "Duke" or spell the name of that institution "correctly"? That's why - because I am already spelling it correctly. That will never change.

And I'm not alone. GQ recently rated Dook the 2nd-douchiest college in America (only behind Ivy League institution Brown University) - ahead of Harvard, Princeton, and Notre Dame. Websites like this one and videos like this one and this one are Internet sensations for a reason - they're all true. It's one thing for one fan base to hate another, but there is no institution in America who is more universally hated than Dook.

So back to Harrison Barnes. Barnes is the number 1 basketball recruit for the 2010 class, and he recently made his college choice, between amongst others Dook and UNC. Dook fans were sure that he was coming to Durham; there was no doubt in their mind that he would be a perfect fit for their system and that he was for sure on his way to being another great Dook basketball player.

Until Barnes committed to Carolina today.

The meltdown that has ensued in the wake of Barnes' commitment, along with the recruitment of Barnes himself, only further proves my point about Dook, their fans, and the ideals that their institution stands for: that they are the single-worst school in the country, with the worst fans, and that I have no shame in hating them almost as much as I love Carolina.

Part II to come soon...addressing the head of the evil enterprise going on in Durham, the one they call Coach K. Until then...

...GO HEELS!