1. It’s the FIFA World Cup. Not the World Cup, not the Cup, not “that soccer tournament”. This is the biggest sporting event in the world, so know what it’s called. If you need to abbreviate it, call it “the tournament”. Being elitist is the first step to sounding like you know what you’re talking about.

2. The FIFA World Cup is in South Africa this year. This is important because it’s the first time a major sporting event of this magnitude has been on the African continent. Know that “Soccer City” – the primary venue for the tournament in Johannesburg – was not built from scratch (originally FNB Stadium, capacity 80,000), seats 94,700, and was the site of a 1990 Nelson Mandela rally after he was released from prison.

3. Nobody likes the official ball. Adidas developed this year’s FIFA World Cup ball, called “Jabulani” (Zulu for “rejoice”). If you like Adidas gear, then you like the ball. If you’re more of a Nike person, the ball is an abomination. Embrace that idea quickly. (Bonus points for mentioning that you think the altitude in Jo’burg will affect the flight pattern of the ball despite the supposed improvements to aerodynamics, and that it was developed in conjunction with Loughborough University in the UK.)

4. Watch Argentina any chance you can get. If you’ve watched ESPN’s SportsCenter the last 18 months, there has been one soccer player who has consistently gotten coverage – Argentinean midfielder Lionel (pronounced LEE-on-EL) Messi. The game’s best player, he is incredibly creative and fluid with the ball, and can score goals seemingly at will.

5. The United States is your team to surprise everyone. While the Yanks are becoming a vogue pick to do well in this year’s FIFA World Cup, picking them to get to the quarterfinals is bold. Do it. They have a good blend of talent and athleticism, and their runner-up finish in the 2009 Confederations Cup (held in South Africa, won by Brazil, US beat Spain 2-0, read two-NIL, not zero) doesn’t make this as risky a pick as you might initially think. Midfielder Landon Donovan is the guy you should know. (Bonus points if you can successfully mention that the US actually finished 3rd in the 1930 FIFA World Cup, won by Uruguay.)

6. PICKS: England (and forward Wayne Rooney) as your dark horse to win it all, and Germany (and key F Miroslav Klose, who fills in for injured captain Michael Ballack) makes a run. Portugal (with F Christiano Ronaldo) will disappoint, as will Italy (and top goalkeeper Buffon, pronounced boo-FON).

7. Winner: Spain. There have only been six countries to win the World Cup (Uruguay, Brazil, England, West Germany, France, Italy). Spain is not one of them, but they’re the most talented team from top to bottom, have one of the best players in the entire tournament in feminine-looking forward Fernando Torres, and they’ve placed a ton of emphasis on winning the FIFA World Cup in 2010.